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Girlie de Vice
Dangerous like a fancy waffle.
I don't use this much as a journal anymore, but I remembered this… 
12th-Feb-2012 04:42 pm
I don't use this much as a journal anymore, but I remembered this icon and it made me think of when I started my journal here over 10 years ago when I was so young and full of drama and living with Meshel and Ophelia was still practically a pup and used to jump up on us and chew everything. Yesterday we had to say goodbye to Ophelia and I feel like another link to that chapter of my life has been cut, though we have all changed so much since then that any link is more like a tangled thread. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. I never expected to have a dog and I probably never will again, but I will miss her both as the young dog who still thought she should be able to fit on my lap and the old one who was content to just lie somewhere near her people.

When David called me Friday night and said that things were bad I was terrified that he was going to say that Meshel was in the hospital. This has been a reminder that really any day I could get a call that someone I love and who is deeply woven in to the tapestry of my life is ill or injured or has died suddenly. My cat, Crash, will be 14 in a few months, and I marvel quite frequently at how young he still seems with the underlying thought that at some point that will no longer be true. I also more frequently lately have the odd thought about how if I had seriously started trying to have children when I got married that I could have had a child almost his age but now I never will.

I still don't really know what I'm trying to say. I suppose all of this is a normal thought process for death to kick off. I'd like to write more about what's going on in my life, but nothing seems quite real anymore and there is rarely anything of note, just so many little things that go by so fast that it's hard to get a handle on them.
12th-Feb-2012 11:16 pm (UTC)
My thoughts are with you!

13th-Feb-2012 12:06 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about Ophelia :(

It's amazing to me that Heliotrope is still fat and happy and living with Anne, having outlived all the other cats that used to reside above the Laurel with her - even the younger cats :(

13th-Feb-2012 12:20 am (UTC)
I am surprised how much I care about my cat Cedric. I really don't know what I will do when he passes (he should really have quite a few years left in him though). I feel like I love him much more than a person should love a pet, but I'm okay with that.
13th-Feb-2012 01:27 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about Ophelia :-(
13th-Feb-2012 07:14 am (UTC)
When Meshel posted about it yesterday I just sat here and sobbed. She was the dog who helped me get over my fear of bigger dogs (I was bit when I was a kid and had been scared of them ever since) and I absolutely adored her.

My Dad and I have talked about this recently. Wiggles, his female Shih-Tzu is 14 now and even though she is very healthy, we both know it's going to happen soon. I remember when my Mom got her as a puppy!

Anyway, much love to you and Meshel and Oscar and Olive from me and my Olive.
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